Wish
by galeaya
Summary: It touched me, and this feeling grew every time he smiled at me, every time he let me sneak into his bedroom at night, every time we bickered... I was falling in love with Yuuri, and it was one of the greatest things I had ever done in my life. Yuuram.


Title: Wish

Genre: Romance-Angst

Fandom: KKM

Summary: Wolfram muses about his relationship with Yuuri.

AN: This precedes Regret, which would be Yuuri's take on things. I hope no one kills me for this... Oh, and it's in Wolfram's POV.

* * *

I've always believed that wishes are for fools.

But then again, there was once in my life – the empty, hollow farce of a life when I had fervently wished for something to come true...

One person... I wanted to possess him, but he was the one thing life ever denied me of...

* * *

He was, to say the least, simple. And more than simple, he was noble. He was also good-looking, but that's beside the point. The first time I met him, I didn't know how to react. How do you react to a complete stranger, much less a wimpy-looking one calling you a pretty boy, anyway? And yes, I did notice that he was a double black, thank you very much. I knew from the moment he was sent flying off of Ao that I was going to have trouble dealing with him.

And trouble did come, but I wasn't expecting it to come so quickly... Damn, it was so unromantic! Up to this fateful day, I still can't believe he proposed to me (and yes, I do realize now that he wasn't aware of what he was doing) in anger. Oh, of course I'm aware that it was totally my fault. I was seriously ready to duel with him (I had the knife in my sight the whole time), but I wasn't expecting it to be over our engagement.

But then, after that, things changed. At least for me, they did. He changed everything for me. I didn't know it was happening, but he was gradually winning me over with his charm and his good nature – he was taming me just like he was doing to everyone in Shin Makoku. I didn't notice it, but I was slowly coming to love Yuuri...

And as I did realize, I thought I was being cheated on whenever he would talk to the maids, or spend time with that half-breed Conrad. Every time I wanted his attention on me and I wouldn't get it, I felt like he was throwing me away for these lowly people... I hated it; I hated the feeling that I wasn't important to him, that I wasn't good enough for him. I hated feeling impotent, hated it when he turned me away. I hated it when he treated me like everyone else.

I wanted to be special to Yuuri, I wanted to be the most special person in his eyes. I wanted to outshine my elder brothers for once; Gwendal who was the greatest strategist and the strongest among us, and Conrad who was the greatest swordsman and soldier of our nation. For once I had the chance to be more than them, for once I had the chance to not only be Beautiful Wolfram, the son who looks too much like his mother. I was a disgrace to the Bielfelds, and Yuuri was the only one who could change that.

For once, I had the chance to be the Maou's protector, someone close enough to him, someone he could and would trust. I felt as if a huge responsibility was dropped upon my shoulders – shoulders which after almost 80 years of existence were finally being treated with respect and dignity. I was no longer the baby. I had become the Maou's fiancé.

And so I proudly took my place beside Yuuri, trailing after him, protecting him. I was not in love with him, but I did love him. He was my king after all. He commanded my respect, and I expected to be treated as a subject, despite being his betrothed.

But he treated me more than just a subject. He treated me like a person, and he never did once talked to me as if I couldn't do things right. He acknowledged me and my abilities, and I just couldn't help but take another look at him. Here was the sole person in Shin Makoku who didn't treat me as an incapable being, the only one who didn't treat me like a child. As I spent more time in his presence, I was able to see him as he truly is, and accept him – not only as my king, but also as a person, as an equal... and as someone who understood me to some degree.

It wasn't just about my silly pride anymore.

And even thought I didn't understand it myself, he never questioned why I never left him, why I held on so tightly to our engagement, why I told him that I would fall with him if he did, if I couldn't save him. He never questioned why I gave him all that I had in me, never asked why I was so persistent.

He never questioned my friendship.

And it touched me... and this feeling grew. It grew inside me every time he smiled at me and looked my way, every time he let me sneak into his bedroom at night, every time we playfully bickered with each other... And though I didn't notice, thought I didn't know... I was actually already falling in love with Yuuri.

And loving him was one of the greatest things I have ever done in my life. Loving him filled me, made me feel complete and content. It made me smile and laugh... it even had me adopting a human child for a daughter! I wasn't hot-tempered anymore, and I bet no one could honestly call me Little Lord Brat behind my back anymore.

I had found my missing piece, my true calling. I was genuinely happy for the first time in my life, and I didn't care about the smallest things – I couldn't bring myself to be picky about food, or clothes, or other petty matters like those. I was in bliss, and I knew no one could ever separate me from my beautiful dark-haired sun.

He was my life. I solely existed to please him, to guard him. I wanted him to be happy...

I wanted him to be happy...

He was and will always be my life. My happiness. But I wasn't his. The day she came, he was immediately captured by her beauty, her cheer. And for once, since after being thrown into our world the first time, I saw him happy. His eyes were shining so brightly, and his laugh was so melodious... I thought it was going to be "us" forever, but...

I thought that he was happy too. And he told me that he was... he was... but he was happier with her, and I could tell that on my own. I wasn't blind.

But I wished I were.

They were so perfect together. So perfect... I felt as if I wasn't part of his world anymore, as if I had been ripped out of the picture... I felt like an outsider.

I wanted to rip my eyes out, wanted to rip my heart apart. I couldn't take it, couldn't take seeing them together like that. I wanted to separate them, but how could I when she was the only one who could make him truly happy?

It hurt. It hurt so much that I couldn't bear look at them... at him. He had taken me to heights I could never imagine; he had changed me completely, and I thought that we would always be together...

But I wanted to make him happy. I didn't want to stand in the way. It hurt... it hurt so much to give him up... but if he can become happier without me in the picture, then so be it. My happiness is meager compared to his.

Then so be it...

Loving Yuuri was one of the greatest things I had ever done. Loving him filled me with life. He was my life. He is my life. He'll always be.

And as I approach him now, I tell him how good he looks and how regal the color is on him... but what I really want to say is that I regret not being courageous enough to fight. For him, for me... for us... but...

I smile at him one last time, tears gathering in my eyes... I know I shouldn't be crying but letting go has never been easy for me...

"Wolf? What's wrong?" _I'm sorry..._

"Nothing's wrong, I just..."_ I'm not even strong enough to tell you... _"... wanted to tell you something..."

"What is it?"

"Yuuri... I..." _love you so much... _"... I wish you luck." _Don't leave me, Yuuri... please..._

He smiles at me so brightly that I can't even gather strength to confess to him... he didn't hear my silent plea..._ He's happy now, Wolfram... don't ruin it for him..._

"Wolf -" I shake my head cutting him off. It was time...

"Thank you , Yuuri. For everything." _And goodbye..._

I turn away and leave him behind

Overhead, the wedding bells toll...

* * *

Gale: wow...

Aya: parang ibang-iba ata yan dun sa handwritten version a... (I think it really varies from the handwritten version...)

Gale: oo nga eh... (I agree)

Aya: final word count?

Gale: 1,475, w/o AN...

Aya: New record for you, nyaaa!

Gale: oo nga eh... Review po? Baka bukas nakapost na ung Part 2: Regret. Yuuri's PoV, btw... (That's right... Please review? Maybe we can have Part 2: Regret up by tomorrow. It's in Yuuri's PoV, btw...)

Aya: Ja ne, minna!


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